Na wa o! How many times we go dey go through this? Yes, Mortal Kombat don be popular video game franchise since 1992. Yes, im over-the-top kills and catchphrases make di fighting games dey fun. But despite several attempts including 1995 Mortal Kombat, 1997 Annihilation, and 2021 reboot, no single good live-action movie don come out from this IP. Yet here we dey again with another ugly, nonsensical mess, dis time called Mortal Kombat II.
Di last film wey dey center on Cole Young (Lewis Tan), descendant of Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim), wey be fish out of water for di titular fighting tournament world. Dis time, dem don relegate am to tertiary character, so di sequel go pivot to new fish out of water, Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), a washed-up ’90s action star wey go rather crush beer than spine. But when a malevolent conqueror named Shao Kahn (Martyn Ford) threaten Earthrealm, na up to Cage and im coterie of super-powered fighters to win Mortal Kombat tournament to save dem world.
Wisely, Warner Bros. don tease di movie with cheeky self-awareness of Western martial arts movie, suggesting Mortal Kombat II go be funnier than im predecessor. But frustratingly, dis na another example of good trailer, bad movie. And big part of why na say Cage feel like dem don wedge am in, rather than center on am for new perspective.
Director Simon McQuoid don return with muddy CGI settings, rubbery CGI fighters, and much of im movie cast reprising dem roles. Along with Tan and Taslim, Jessica McNamee dey back as Sonya Blade, Josh Lawson as Kano, Mehcad Brooks as Jax, Ludi Lin as Liu Kang, Tadanobu Asano as Raiden, and Hiroyuki Sanada as Hanzo Hasashi / Scorpion. Joining di fighter line-up opposite Cage na fan-wielding Kitana (Adeline Rudolph), staff-armed Jade (Tati Gabrielle), many-fanged Baraka (CJ Bloomfield), and Ford as brutish conqueror Shao Kahn.
You fit tink say dat too many characters to create meaningful story arcs over 116-minute runtime. And you go be right! Screenwriter Jeremy Slater fit don narrow focus to Cage experience to better create moving narrative, while still folding in requisite fighting, brawlers, and game allusions. But instead, dem split story focus between Cage, whose gruff has-been attitude pitch di movie toward promising Galaxy Quest vibe, and Kitana, whose rebellious warrior princess thread dey reminiscent of Guardians of the Galaxy Gamora as she battled Thanos and im sister Nebula. But here, Thanos na Shao Kahn, wey murder Kitana papa for di film glacially paced opening sequence. And Nebula na Jade, Kitana bestie/guard since she become Shao Kahn prisoner as girl.
If you want more backstory, no fear, plenty dey. Cage no go even show up for first 14 minutes of di movie. For dat time, di sequel plunge into same grim and self-serious atmosphere wey make McQuoid first Mortal Kombat a bore. Sure, di fight scenes dey really violent and bloody, befitting di film R-rating. But di fights feel disconnected from storytelling. Worse yet, dem shoot these battles with very little visual logic, meaning some big blows just no dey hit. And yep, sure dey recreations of memorable characters, dem costumes, weapons, and catchphrases. But di major important distinction between dis rebooted movie franchise and di games na say di games were fun.
Di most fun Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat II fit offer na Kano, di only character wey resolutely refuse to take things seriously. As Cage, Urban bring with am an American arrogance wey shake up di seriousness of Earthrealm battlers. Im dey snarky where dem dey stern, creating feisty dynamic wey border on amusing. But as Cage clichéd plot line demand im become selfless, brave hero, im become more grave and less giggle-inducing. Thank di gods for Lawson Kano. Dis crusty criminal and unrepentant asshole die for last movie, but like other MK fighters, dem resurrect am for dis sequel. Thankfully, rather than being brought back as another humorless revenant, Kano dey as chaotically insulting as ever, slinging barbs with reckless abandon. When im mock necromancer Quan Chi (Damon Herriman) for im eyeliner, I howl with laughter. And for a brief moment I tink say between Cage and Kano, dis movie fit actually begin to get fun! Alas, my hopes squashed like skull under warhammer.
Kano and Cage get to be comic relief, while Kitana brood and new quest kick off to heist magical gem from Shao Kahn, wey im effectively use as immortality cheat code. Again, life-or-death battles and heist into heart of tyrant castle? Dis should be exciting and entertaining! Inexplicably, McQuoid bleed any tension from these sequences with mangled visual language wey make fights hard to follow and di quest feel like afterthought. Suspense no fit build because for every other scene, Slater script deliver another exposition drop to explain di tournament, di realms, di revenants — on and on! Video games be visual medium. Movies be visual medium. Yet much of dis movie feel like I get locked into tedious podcast.
For di end, Mortal Kombat II feel like di wretched compromise of two movie pitches. One na sequel wey closely follow di saga and doleful tone of di last movie. Di other na action-comedy for di vein of Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Whether na Kano reading other fighters to filth, or sequence where Cage dey chase around village by rampaging Baraka, there be moments where Mortal Kombat II flirt with not taking dis IP deadly seriously. But then McQuoid pivot back to tone wey less Shogun and more Iron Fist. And as sloppy and artless as dis adaptation be, e probably no go matter. E don long be cliché say video game movies traditionally bad. I recently disappoint by di Until Dawn movie and move to consider my own mortality over di vacuousness of di Super Mario Galaxy Movie. And yet, studios keep plugging along with these movies for di fans. No be fool. Dat na cynical sales pitch wey assume gamers love di source IP so much say studios no need to bring skilled filmmakers or spend di money on top-notch fight choreography, stunts, or visual effects. Dem believe di fans go come regardless of wetin dem actually put on screen. And maybe dem right! After all, critics warn say di Super Mario Galaxy Movie na soulless sequel with more allusions than entertainment. But e dey near a billion dollars for worldwide box office. So, why studios go change strategy? Warner Bros hire commercial director to make im feature directorial film debut with Mortal Kombat, and now im back with muddled vision wey be ugly and lifeless slog. But if fans go di theater or stream dis exhaustively on HBO Max, like dem presumably do im predecessor, then di bar in hell, and e no go raise. At least we get more Last of Us to look forward to, right?
Mortal Kombat II open for theaters on May 8.
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