No be small matter o! My cat Victor don turn Fantasy Premier League (FPL) manager, and e dey play like say e get PhD for dis jaga-jaga game! Wetin I wan talk be say, for dis 2026 season, him dey rank 222 out of over 13 million managers. Na by chance? I no think so!
Dis small cat wey we adopt for East London don really show us say e sabi ball pass many of us wey dey take am serious since. Na wetin we go dey ask ourselves. Victor no go let dem use raton atau gree! For him first FPL season, we chop gist wey scatter brain. My highest rank na 14,308; this cat just show me pepper!
E get how we dey do am. Every week, my brother and I go gather small treats, write question on whiteboard, split it into choices, then we go let Victor choose the option wey he wan eat first. Wetin he chop be the decision wey we go make for am. Na so e dey select players and even captain! Last week, e chop Bruno Fernandes treat without second thought, and Bruno no disappoint, come give us two assists!
The way we dey run am be like say e dey work for big company. Me and my bro dey do all the research while Victor go just give final order like CEO wey contribute nothing! But e get one wahala, the boy dey flow outside most times, so e go dey hard to reach am whenever we wan ask question.
Victor name wey my grandad give am no be only for show, this purrfect cat dey come collect all the glory wey dey ground! E even choose the team name ‘Cresposcular’ because we wan mix him love for inner Chelsea striker Hernan Crespo with him cat life. As he best friend, for naija we dey say, “cat wey dey run FPL no be ordinary cat!”
From the beginning of the season, strategies dey where we go dey discuss transfer options and e dey pick wetin go benefit am. Na for Gameweek 6, wetin boost am from 262,390 to 36,841. He dey sharp sha! But no be all na glory, he still fall trap sometimes like to pick Jeremie Frimpong wey injury dash him for Gameweek 1. E no fit use injury pick, na wetin we dey face for FPL. But my guy dey vibe with Jarrod Bowen, wey be player wey my bro and I don dey use; e don score back-to-back goals, so na serious cat love be dat!
The whole family don join manage Victor’s FPL for house, even my parents dey represent when we no dey around. This week, my mum even send video of am picking Harry Wilson for transfer right before midnight, e be like say na serious work for everybody! E get time wey we don play some chips, but we no dey force am; na all things dey depend on wetin Victor select. From time to time e go follow strategy, but wetin matter be say e dey balance the score.
Na wetin we dey call ‘celeb cats’ matter from this side. Anytime dem dey leach na for our system, Victor dey feel am pass ‘normal’ human-dey-react! All his choices dey shine like morning sun e come dey pack points like say na dis na early xmas!
As we dey enter next Gameweeks, we dey prepare and dey plan for our moves well because the pressure dey increase. If Victor dey maintain this kind form, I fit start dey fee my cat sef. So for dis fantasy football gists, dem fit enter my house, but make dem no forget, na my cat dey run am well! Purr-fect vibes only!
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