Tinubu Celebrate WAFCON Heroes, Naira Dey Fall, Bandits Still Dey Abduct!

Abuja, Nigeria – President Bola Ahmed Tinubu dey make serious waves as e don confer national honour of Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON) on our WAFCON team wey just bring glory come Nigeria. Each of the 24 players go collect cash reward of $100,000 plus three-bedroom apartment wey fit house their families. Na real blessing o!

But dampening the vibe be say, down for Katsina State, wahala don dey as over 100 members of the Community Watch Corps don die, plus 30 police and some soldiers wey dey do their job. Na serious matter o and Commissioner for Internal Security, Dr. Nasir Muazu, dey try explain say social media fit dey spread panic.

And make we no forget say America don waka come our side again. Them don talk say dem no go give visa to Nigerians wey dey plan to travel for birth tourism. Dem post am on their official X handle, talk say dis practice no dey accepted for their side. Chai, wetin go happen to our baby tourism dreams?

As armed men dey operate like film for Imo State, dem don spoil person matter—we hear say one DSS officer wey dey work for Federal University of Owerri don meet im end for Okigwe–Umuna axis. Wetin be dis now? Na free-for-all show now?

The naira dey fall again, dis time e don hit N1,540 per dollar for parallel market. E be like say dollar don carry our future waka comot. E dey clear say we go need plenty palm wine to drown our sorrows!

Peter Obi also dey give Tinubu some backhand slaps for im post, dey accuse am of playing fast one with numbers wey dey show our economy dey waka backward. Na wetin we go do? E just dey scatter table!

Meanwhile, for Benue State, those kidnappers of six law school students don turn dem to kings. Dem don threaten say if ransom no land, dem go do the worst. This na serious matter o, where we go find our voiceless students?

Another businessman wey be Ifesinachi Onyekere don fall victim for Anambra. Gunmen don carry am away after dem shoot am leg. Wetin be dis? Na dem dey collect people as if na regular job?

Political drama still dey go on as John Ayuba don deflect from PDP to ADC for Kaduna. E be like say everybody dey find better ground to stand. And make we mention say Nigerian Army don catch one Nigerien terrorist, plus dem don neutralise some threats. Na good news we go like to hear more often!