Na first time for me: Fada’s Day without my papa, Leo E. Perino. My papa die for im sleep for end of May 2026, just 29 days afta e retire. E be 79 years old. Di guy love to work. And e love im daughters. E be wonderful girl fada to two girls.
Friends of mine wey be girl dads now dey impress me. I tink dem dey do well for raising dia daughters, so dem no need advice from me. But here be five tings my papa do wey make difference for my life and play role for my success and happiness.
First, early and consistent reinforcement of equality. My young sister Angie and I born for 1970s. Dat time na di beginning of ‘girl power’ movement. My papa never preach about equality. E just live am. E dey tell us regularly and consistently say girls fit do anything dem want do, and say we no need set our goals short of di top just because we be female. So, we grow up no ever tink like dat. E say we fit go far, and we do. I remember I get one ugly yellow T-shirt wey write ‘Anything boys can do, girls can do better.’ I wear am all di time — maybe like today’s friendship bracelets, small reminder wey dey plant for your brain over time so dat you believe for yourself.
Second, education and reading — a priority. I learn to read early for life and devour books. For third grade, e start tradition with me wey I must read ‘The Rocky Mountain News’ and ‘The Denver Post’ before e come back from work, pick out two articles, and prepare to discuss dem. For years, we love to discuss di news. E subscribe to every weekly magazine, too. We go dog-ear pages for each oda and share dem. From dat start, I never stop reading di news. But e no just dey teach me to read di news. E dey teach me to tink. Make dem talk. One tin I notice as mentor to young women na dia ability to articulate dia thoughts for smart way and with confident voice. Dat take instruction and practice. My papa get me talking about di news and politics early. E go listen, challenge, lightly debate, and den affirm. Dis make me more comfortable doing so in front of future bosses, including di leader of di free world, and later on to massive audiences wey dey watch Fox News Channel loyally. Dads wey pay attention to dis aspect of dia daughters’ development go get reward with more confident young woman for future.
Third, faith. My sister and I use to argue on Saturdays about which church service we go go on Sundays. Sunday school and still reach house for time to watch di Sunday shows. My sister no care about dose shows, but she love to go church with me. My mama and papa help raise us with good values and belief for higher power, wey sustain us for our recent grief and add to our joys.
Fourth, leading without judgment. Afta graduate school, I realize say I just get degree for something I no want to do. Initially, my plan na to pursue career for local news. I feel like I fail, waste time and money, and I dey fear to call my papa. But when I call, e just say, ‘Dat’s great. We go just drive you back here afta graduation and you go figure am out.’ I dey so relieve. I remember dat car ride, especially di long stretch through di cornfields for Kansas listening to di country music station for radio.
My sister get similar memory. When she make major life decision for her mid-twenties, she go to am first and e say, ‘How I fit help?’ E no ask how or why — e just dey there. To be a dad your daughters fit run to, no matter dia age, without dey fear say dem go judge dem — well, no greater comfort. Good fada no just protect im daughters from di world. E become safe place when di world too much.
My papa die for im sleep. For im bedside na im copy of ‘Purple State,’ bookmarked on page 289. E get forty more pages to go. Dat crush me, until friend say dat mean e read di Green Bay Packers scene, and dat na im favorite. So, my papa no get to read di end. But we get to experience im. And na happy ending, afta all. Tanks, Papa. And to all di girl dads out there — we appreciate you. You matter more dan you fit ever know.
