Jason Statham na twin-turbo charisma machine. E be double barrelled, sawn-off hot-gun of a geezer. Yes, him American accent dey wander off into di Atlantic sometimes. So wetin? Give am schlocky B-movie to polish, e go shine am well well until e gleam. Give am line wey lesser actor go crash and crumple, e go drive am straight through wall.
When Statham talk something like ‘I now pronounce you man and knife’ for The Expendables in 2010, you know say e wan put him foot down and make am roar. Ask am to play medieval farmer called Farmer for Lord of the Rings-style epic fantasy In the Name of the King in 2007, e go roundhouse extras across cold, muddy forest until e run out of road. E go do am because na Jason Statham: channeller of heroes, drop-kicker of men.
E still be one of Hollywood hardest working actors. For just last ten years, e don star for no less than 15 movies. Before acting find am, e be diver for British National Diving Team and e finish twelfth for World Championships in 1992. E don also be fashion model and salesman.
Cut to di chase: Jason Statham na British national treasure; di kind wey go still dey kick men through windows at 80. So, to celebrate dis British icon, here be six of Jason Statham best movies to stream right now.
First one na Snatch. One of di most quotable and quoted movies of di century. Na di second barrel of di gun wey fire Statham into limelight, and e bring Guy Ritchie into Madonna orbit. Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels set di tone for new wave of British gangster movies – brash, comic, violent with breakneck script wey you fit now call Ritchian. On surface, na one hour thirty minutes of lairy geezers maiming or killing each other for creative ways – if not with guns or knives, then with golf clubs, car doors or sex toys. But e blow di bloody doors off cinema at di time. And e still stand up, not least thanks to Statham, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt and ever-wonderful Stephen Graham. E be priceless cultural artefact, really, a bump of di best early-noughties nostalgia on di market; a line of pure, uncut Britpop-era gold.
Second na Crank from 2006. Di premise simple: a hitman, Statham, wake up to find say dem inject am with Chinese synthetic poison wey go kill am if him heart rate drop. With about one hour to live, e race around Los Angeles keeping him adrenaline pumping, fighting, driving and generally causing chaos, while e dey hunt down di man wey poison am. At one point, when e realise say nothing exciting dey happen to am, e persuade a woman to have sex with am to save him life. Dis na fun movie – fast and rollicking with little to talk about life, except to distract you from it. Still, for di hero own words: ‘It is like all my life I have just been going, going, going. Wish I had taken more time to stop and smell the roses so to speak. Guess it is too late for that now.’ Yeah, but, you know, e never too late to watch Crank.
Third na The Meg from 2018. As mentioned above, Statham be member of British National Diving Team before acting. So, e know wetin dem require wen dem ask am to play deep-sea rescue diver Jonas Taylor, parachuted in wen a submersible trap for ocean floor by giant prehistoric shark, a megalodon wey dem think say extinct. After e help save di crew, di beast follow dem go surface and head for crowded Chinese beach resort, so Jonas get to hunt am down before e feed.
Fourth na The Bank Job from 2008. Based on real 1971 robbery, a gang of London small-timers led by Statham’s Terry tunnel into Lloyds Bank vault on Baker Street. Dem think say na straightforward heist, but di safety deposit boxes also hold compromising secrets about politicians and royals, and now MI5, di police, a porn kingpin, and London criminal underworld all want wetin dem steal. E be intelligent, engaging film, and one wey allow Statham to stretch him acting wings small. E may not fly far, just out of di nest, but e be sweet dodgy geezer crime caper wey come a cropper film wey do him job far better than di protagonists do theirs.
Fifth na Spy from 2015. Susan Cooper, played by Melissa McCarthy, be desk-bound CIA analyst wey dey guide top agent Bradley Fine, played by Jude Law, through him missions from basement office. Wen Fine die and dem expose identities of other agents, she volunteer to go undercover for Europe to track down stolen nuclear device. Statham play Rick Ford, reckless fellow agent wey keep trying to take over her mission. E be very knowing role from Statham, sort of self-parody. Or, at least, hilarious construct of him character type.
Sixth na The Beekeeper from 2025. E be deliciously daft, stripped-back revenge thriller wey know exactly wetin e be. Statham play former member of secret vigilante organisation called di Beekeepers, wey go after phishing-scam operation after e ruin a kind old neighbour. Di plot ridiculous, di dialogue full of bee puns delivered with straight face, and di action brutal and efficient. But you know wetin? Statham, as always, hold fast throughout. Di worker bee wey e be, e know exactly wetin him job be now.
